Have you ever come across situations where someone pressed the wrong nerve at the wrong time, you behaved/responded in a certain way assuming it as the best it could be unless someone else remonstrates that it could be done in a nicer way!! I am sure we all do encounter such things quite a lot of times. Surprisingly, we often do not realise that there are better ways!
I don’t intend to write about THE better ways in this post, rather I would give some thought to why we sometimes surprise ourselves more than anyone else!
The most important factor that affects the way we react to things is the way we have been treated. It’s not easy to deny that the events in our life, good or bad, shape the way we embrace things. And the timing is crucial. Say, someone hits you on your left arm. When will you feel the most pain if hit again?? My answer would be : a) When it is done at exactly the same spot! and b) when it is done soon after the first blow! The pain inflicted becomes the master for sometime! I guess that says it all.
Secondly, we learn quite a lot from people around us and their experiences! And we all just love love shortcuts. Someone else’s behaviour in a similar situation might not be the best for us as it depends on context, our persona, the person we are dealing with etc. etc. It’s just not right to do a COPY+PASTE for affairs where real human beings with real feelings are involved!
Thirdly, another significant culprit is the current state of our minds! We are always entangled in such a myriad of emotions that thinking rationally just seems far from even being a possibility. And it might result in passing on of frustration from one source to another, the latter being completely unaware of the dumped umbrage.
There are always assumed IDEAL ways to do things but it’s almost impossible to follow the golden rules. Nonetheless, as long as we learn from each incident and strive to be better (read human!!) the next time, it’s all good. And there are ways to make up for the wrongs or not-so-rights we do!
Would like to sum this up with two of my absolute favourite quotes:
Nothing is ever always wrong. Even a clock which has stopped shows the right time twice a day!!
And, There is no wrong time to do the right thing!