This sentence by my favourite actress, Kareena Kapoor Khan in her movie “Jab We Met” was used beautifully for an article published in Times of India earlier this month. I like to repeat and remind me of this from time to time. This article was shared by a friend with whom I had discussed it long ago. I bookmarked the article and saved it but thought of sharing it on my blog as well :). Personalised bookmarking. Or rather blogmarking !!
Here goes the full article:
Are you your own most favourite person?
Never lose confidence in your own self, nor change your persona or dreams to suit another.
Main apni sab se favourite hoon!” Somehow this sentence spoken by Kareena Kapoor Khan in Jab We Met, and the sparkling eyes and grin that accompany it, have stuck delightfully to my consciousness over the years. Apart from the obvious love story, at another level, the movie was a beautiful portrayal of a confident young woman who completely loses faith in herself, and then slowly regains it with the help of the man she had once taught to believe in himself.
Interestingly, I thought of the line while standing in a girls’ school for the underprivileged in Sardhana, Meerut,
as a roomful of class II students wished me, “Good afternoon, Madam,” and then proceeded to read out the English words on the board with confidence. How wonderful if these girls grow up with the bubbly self-confidence of Geet in Jab We Met, I thought.
It is only natural that we should all be our own favourite selves. What stops us from imbibing all the qualities that we admire and revere? Nothing but a lack of self-confidence, a doubt that perhaps we are not really as deserving as we should be. And so, we constantly look outside for approval and endorsement, ignoring the voice within that knows best. The only voice that speaks to us with reason and instinct on its side, the only voice that has no ulterior motives, which sometimes even those closest to us unintentionally have.
We are surrounded by people trying to undermine our self-confidence. I find it a sin beyond redemption when I see people change their natural selves or kill their dreams to suit another. I cannot stand it when I see eyes that seek the endorsement of another, sometimes after every sentence that is spoken.
We all seek to control each other by creating dependencies. Men and women play this game with each other all the time. Men do so by reinforcing the myth that women are useless outside the home, in offices and particularly in dealing with money matters. Women try to control men by reinforcing the myth that men are helpless in the house and totally dependent on wives. Colleagues, friends, siblings, lovers, spouses – all perpetuate such myths. We can choose to believe such self-serving beliefs and stay helpless all our lives, or step away and discover a whole new, independent world.
People seek to feel better about themselves by thinking less of another, and usually the ones closest to us are the victims of this battle for one-upmanship. It takes immense effort to understand this and break through to a state where one can develop the kind of confidence that does not look at another for approval. A state where we are our own masters and never feel guilty or regretful about anything; where we have nobody else to thank nor to blame because we make our own bed and lie in it.
Difficult yes, but not impossible. As we step into 2014, let us chart our own moral and ethical compass. Let us give up bothering about what people will say, or what the world will think. We can be our own judges, and compete with nobody else but our own selves. Let us allow ourselves to dream big, believe in that dream, and aspire for it. Let us resolve to start walking towards our dream with a no-nonsense walk, self-assured voice and eyes that exude confidence – all these serve to surround us with an invincible winner’s aura that attracts all good things.